I often use the metaphor of a car when talking about relationships. Our cars run efficiently when we drive them with care, have them serviced regularly, and of course, keep them fuelled.
We know what fuel to fill the car’s tank or battery with. Love is the energy that fuels a relationship. It is usually the thing that sparks off things in the first place, i.e., falling in love.
However, a healthy relationship, just like a car, consists of many moving parts. If the parts are not in good shape and working harmoniously together, both will falter and may ultimately fail us. You can have the best of fuels, but more importantly, the internal workings must be sound.
The underpinnings of a working and sustainable relationship are:
- Trust
- Empathy
- Honesty
- Understanding
- Equality
- Respect
- Effective communication
If any of these essential parts are neglected over time, the relationship inevitably suffers, just as a car performs inefficiently when it hasn’t been serviced or attended to properly. There are many reasons why relationships deteriorate, but the factors involved can be difficult to identify for the couple themselves. The saying ‘you can’t see the wood for trees’ comes to mind here.
The good news is that this is where a trained counsellor excels.
Your counsellor is like a relationship mechanic, who can identify the parts that may have become neglected and help you attend to them. They can support both partners in their efforts to repair the relationship. Don’t let the wheels fall off your relationship. If things are not feeling right, get some help.
Michael is available for Couples and Individual counselling on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at Bardon Counselling and Therapies.
Call 07-3368 1300 for an appointment.